Poison

Things are already getting turbulent. I'm not sure how long this will continue to go on. Everyday is a struggle and a conflict.
My overall plan was to work for a couple of years, retake LSAT, and reapply. I really have no ambition of entering a major corporation until then. Even though the current pay sucks I thought, once I get past the internship period, I could get hired as a regular employee and get a raise.
But my dad is certain that no matter how hard I try my salary will not be worth my time and I should continuously look for employement opportunities elsewhere.

I don't think I  would've been irritated by this had he not emphasized the need to work for really big companies like Samsung, LG, or Hyundai.

Maybe he thinks I can pull it off. Maybe he thinks I'm too good for the current job. I have no idea. From the way he speaks to me though, I can tell his perception of me does not surpass that of a toilet brush.

I thought everything would get better once I came to Korea and got ready for this internship. I thought my parents would be happy. I too was getting anxious at the prospect of losing my job after this 3-month contract, but I tried to think that I would be able to maintain my position as long as I don't screw things up. I really couldn't care less if I work for a company that no one has heard of as long as I'm happy working there and can feed myself.

I'm so ashamed of myself. I am very lost. I feel even worse because I can understand dad's frustration and disappointment. I guess I would be pissed off too if I invested about 30 grand in a product and I was only rewarded with a meagre payoff.

Applying to major corporations shouldn't be much of a chore... if you are eager to get the position. But for me working for Amore Pacific (cosmetics company) or KB (bank) makes as much sense as working for a fitness franchise. My whole life revolved around wanting to study law and I can't just change everything in a beat simply because I failed on my first attempt. My parents think law is now a lost cause and nothing down that road is certain. But I do feel that I deserve another chance. Why must everything be so extreme? Must I give up on my life-long dream that easily, due to external pressures?

I'm sure dad thinks of me like most people think of Wall Street. It has failed once; why shouldn't it again?