1-week mark

I've been in Korea for roughly two weeks now. I am no longer jet-lagged, but still I am not free from the fatigue that pervaded me in Vancouver.

I am living in the perpetual fear that my English will deteriorate and when I finally make it back to Vancouver, I will have to work my way up from scratch. I try to keep up by reading books aloud and at times speaking to my parents in English. Some decline will be inevitable; I'd like to disprove it, but it's like learning Spanish in Vancouver. Without using the language one cannot maintain the proficiency. When I put my mind into it I can still compose decent sentences, but I feel that my accent is getting stronger. English is pretty much the only thing that's keeping me desirable to the Korean job market. I cannot lose it at any cost.

It's been forever since I worked on my novel. Figuratively. Realistically speaking it's been about two weeks since I wrote substantially. I wonder if I'll ever finish it. I found it difficult to write even when I was using it daily. God knows what can happen when my daily life isn't saturated with English.

I long for solitude. And when I'm alone I crave company. I'm at a state where nothing can make me entirely happy. I'm not saying that I'm unhappy. But the presence of my parents suffocate and irritate me. I think we'll be much happier if I only got to see them in the weekend.
I'm confined in the society I've been trying to avoid for the last eight and a half years. It's only natural that I am living in perpetual discontent.