Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A modern day nightmare

I had a series of nightmares last night. The funny thing is that they're pretty realistic and thereby more terrifying.

(Dreams not in a chronological order)

The first nightmare involved my youngest aunt who is currently pregnant (due this month). In my dream I kept dosing off while my parents, my aunt, and other people were talking. The part that I did hear horrified me because, when someone said a woman should be allowed to work even after getting married, my aunt argued with passion that women's place was at home, and a woman would be committing a sin if she abandoned her post. Inexplicably she was married to one of the people in my firm (not true IRL), and when I expressed my deep concerns, he laughed at it off and dismissed it as a needless worry.

The second one was about me directly. I was walking along the road which led to a small hill. It was a scenic route in the forest, and there werea group of tourists and a guide who led their way. I wasn't part of that group so I walked on more quickly to pass them by, and I noticed that one of the men took a zoomed-in picture of me. I was creeped out, and I immediately asked him to delete my picture. He reluctantly complied. They went out of my sight soon enough and I shuddered with dread, still going on my way. When I took out my camera I saw that someone still had me in his view-finder, and I assumed it was the creep who took my picture. (For some reason my camera could detect the presence of other cameras.) I froze with fear, and when I ran into a couple of joggers I asked them to walk me to the SUB (I guess it was the Pacific Regional Forest?), and they obliged me.
A couple of days ago my dad yelled at me for getting home late. (It was seven f**king fifty, and he called it late. I had come home straight from work, and the traffic was worse than usual.) I guess the fear creeped into my dream.

The last one I cannot remember now. But It was just as plausible and dreadful as the other dreams.

I remember the dreams I used to have when I was waiting for law school admission results and didn't have a job. I got shot in the head by different people in a number of dreams. They were sometimes strangers, but one time it was my dad. He shot at me and missed me, and I fell down like I had been shot. I thought I tricked him into believing I was dead, but he came over to confirm the kill. In another dream I was a soldier in a battalion whose miserable defeat was imminent. The entire troop (though only a few people) was ordered to commit suicide so that we wouldn't be tortured and let out secrets. I pulled the trigger to my temple, and even though I didn't feel the pain, I felt the blow. I didn't die immediately either; I lay there, waiting for death to come. It was the strangest feeling. I always woke up before I died.

These days I rarely dream. I prefer it this way.

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