Missing Vancouver

I miss Vancouver more than usual these days. The autumn season in Seoul is beautiful this year; it's not too cold to wear stylish outfit, and the air is crisp enough to refresh me every morning. Sans being crammed into the subway like a can of sardines along with other people my morning commute is more or less pleasant.

But it is incomparable to fall in Vancouver. Many people dislike the Vancouverite autumn because it rainy, windy, and chilly, but those are defining characteristics of Vancouver that make it unique. I love the city so much that I could even love the freezing rain in November. (I say I could ...)

And I hear Vancouver is donning its Christmas attire already. I picture the Oakridge mall and the Pacific Centre in beautiful red ribbons that glitter under halogen lights. I picture myself strutting down the linoleum tiled floor with my friends. I picture myself conversing in English. (I still do that but very seldom.)

Even though the degree of satisfaction that I feel towards my life has increased, it cannot make up for the fact that I'm not in Vancouver. I look Korean, speak Korean fluently, and mimic its customs almost flawlessly but I am a foreigner in this country. I believe in the saying that home is where heart is -- no matter what nationality or skin colour you have. And I left my heart in Vancouver. (I know, eek.) Maybe that's why I've been feeling so empty and directionless. Homesickness can have curious effects on people. It is more potent than one might think.

Sure, Vancouver isn't a perfect city. People are less polite and friendly than others say they are. Considering its size and status Vancouver's business development is pathetic. Wage there is terrible. People live in (usually) closely locked race bubbles. Things cost way too much.

Still. I'd kill to live there. For good. Doing what I love. With people I love.

It's been roughly three months since I left and sometimes I can hardly believe that I'm in Korea. I may be present in this country physically but I sure have a Vancouver state of mind.