Push (not by Sapphire)

The title is a reference to the novel and movie Precious, by the way.

Koreans love to PUSH. In many ways.

Not everyone does it, but a significant number of people push others at a subway station or when boarding the bus in the fear of not getting on that particular train/bus.
But here's the thing. It doesn't make much of a difference if you miss that train, because another will come along in less than five minutes. They are deliberately scheduled that way to alleviate the morning traffic.
As for the bus, there's really no point in pushing, because there's only so much space available and a person's pushing will not make a difference in terms of time and space. Oh yeah, maybe you can get to your destination about a second faster. But not even that in most cases.
Let's say that I feel extremely magnanimous one day and I can completely understand why the person behind me is pushing my back when s/he's trying to get on the train/bus. (For the sake of convenience I'll just call the person She. It's mostly women who do this anyway.) It's the morning. She may feel anxious that she might not make it to work on time. Okay. I can sympathize. I hate being late for work too.

But what about AFTER work?
I was really ticked off especially last night when a girl pushed me from behind when she was preparing to get off. I repeat. PREPARING. She wasn't getting off the bus that moment. The bus was still en route to the station, and we were getting up from our seats, just heading to the back door. Why the pushing? What can possibly justify her behaviour? I honestly wanted to ask her if that at all made a difference. But being the wuss that I am, I couldn't.

People tell me when I complain about this kind of stuff, why not say anything? Why not just tell them off at that moment?

My answer is quite simple. I only address my complaints directly to offenders if I think they could understand where I'm coming from. I didn't bother talking to any of the people who pushed me because it was obvious that they wouldn't hear a word that I say. They would probably say that I'm overreacting, preachy, self-righteous... every insulting adjective you can think of. I'll be lucky if they don't swear at me or hit me. (I read a newspaper article yesterday about a lady who got attacked by a teenager after telling her that her underwear was showing through her wide-spread legs.)

I wonder if all this is a side-effect of an overly collectivist society. We're all in one group. Hence as long as the majority of people -and I- are happy, it doesn't matter you suffer -- kind of attitude. Many Asians misunderstand that people who live in individualistic societies are egotistical. Jerks do exist, I admit, even in my beloved Vancouver. Jerks of all ethnicities. But mostly individualistic people respect others' freedom precisely because they value their own. They know that respect should be mutual. I'm beginning to think that in a collectivist society, ironically, this is not true.